Travel Buzzwords That Must Be Banished

'Glamping', 'Minimoon' and 'Spatisserie' - 34 travel buzzwords that must be banished. Even in a world overwhelmed by cringe-inducing jargon, trendy acronyms and PR guff, where “moobs”, “YOLO”, and “hangry” are recognised by the Oxford English Dictionary, the travel industry stands out from the crowd as an unrivalled purveyor of extraordinary nonsense.

by Oliver Smith, The Daily Telegraph, October 19, 2017

editing by Earl of Cruise 

Photo by Martin Barraud/OJO Images/Getty Images

The marketing managers in the travelindustry created over the years countless new stylish or contemporary words, which found their way into languages. But also they created wordings that create a fals image, e.g. by naming a simple stateroom a suite - a suite is consisting of more than two rooms divided by a wall and a door.
Or the wrong use of the term liner for a cruise ship. Or the wrong use of luxury, especially regarding a 3star or any other budget cruise vessel.

In Germany we have "handy´s" instead of mobiles, smartphones, cellulars, téléphone cellulaire or portable, or a mobile phone. It is quite rediculous to be frank. And this wrong word found its way into our DUDEN. These new words may be creative, but they are pure nonsense.
Finding this article and reading it, made me thinking of my own wordings ...

After all, it lumbered us with “glamping”, the “digital detox”, “voluntouring” and “minimoons” – all words that can only be spoken with a grimace.

It’s not just hip new companies spewing this tripe; the old establishment are at it too. Among the newest additions to the creaking cupboard of holiday buzzwords is "spatisserie", utilised by The Dorchester, which really ought to know better. This awful portmanteau describes a "uniquely named" and "luxurious yet informal" dining space attached to its spa, which serves "opulent" and "elegant" tea and cake. I’ve not yet had a cup of tea and a slice of Victoria sponge that warranted such adjectives, but I live in hope.    

"Unique" is another word beloved in the travel industry - and almost always used erroneously. The good folk at THE DORCHESTER will be distraught to learn that "uniquely named" "spatisseries" can also be found at the CULLODEN Estate and Spa in Northern Ireland and Boringdon Hall in Dartmoor.

This week we were also introduced to the "Bleisure traveller", a dreadful mashing of the words "business" and "leisure" which describes people who do a bit of sightseeing during a work trip. It’s a new trend apparently. What utter twaddle.

Another relatively recent arrival was "flocation", used by a firm offering boating holidays (surely "bolidays"? To me it is evoking in first place a hint to Bollywood) to describe a domestic break (otherwise known as a "staycation" or "holistay") on water. Presumably some of these involve floating hotels (which we’ve been pained to hear called both "floatels" and "boatels").

Why must these perfectly adequate descriptions be shortened to something so tragic? Are we too bereft of time to speak in proper sentences? Even the single word “luxury” (which in itself has lost all meaning - even caravans have been given this adjective) has been shortened to the disgracefully lazy “luxe”.

We are living in times of TWITTER and short messages ... so we may degenerate to two-word-sentence-speakers ... some have reached that state allready - the nervous thumb in the Jungle Camp.

But we as homo sapiens developed the speach for the neccessary comunication, the interaction in social groups. And homo sapiens sapiens developed from the neccessaty literature.

Who’s to blame for this trend? To what address must the angry correspondence be directed? PR gibberish is nothing new, but the tendency to replace sensible English words with pigswill really went into overdrive after “staycation” first reared its ugly head. That was in 2009, when the global financial crisis and the weak pound made overseas holidays less affordable. The first recorded use of the word, however, has been attributed by Merriam-Webster researchers to a 1944 article in the Cincinnati Enquirer. "Take a Stay-cation instead of a Va-cation, this year," it suggested. A strongly-worded letter is now on its way to Ohio.

It would be another 65 years before “staycation” really entered the global lexicon, helped by tourist boards and newspapers across the planet, and hot on its heels came all manner of copycats. "Daycation" (a three-syllable description for a one-day holiday, ingeniously replacing the two-syllable "day trip"). Neighcation (riding horses). "Weighcation" (shedding timber). And more besides. Below is our list of banished travel buzzwords. If you find Telegraph Travel using them in anything but an ironic sense, feel free to direct that angry correspondence to us.

1. Staycation - domestic holiday
2. Holistay - ditto
3. Neighcation - horse-riding holiday
4. Daycation - a one-day holiday
5. Weighcation - dieting holiday
6. Gaycation - for LGBT holidaymakers
7. Mancation - think paintballing, tequila tasting and tickets to the F1
8. Brocation - same thing
9. Traincation - rail holidays
10. Spacation - spas in Britain
11. Dogcation - holidays with Fido
12. Momcation - er...
13. Floatel - a hotel on water
14. Flocation - a holiday on water
15. Bleisure - going to a museum after your big business conference
16. Bizcation - as above
17. Voluntourism - combining a holiday with charity work
18. Glamping - roughing it with little Hugo in a teepee
19. Babymoon - a holiday when you're ready to pop
20. Minimoon - the shorter of two honeymoons
21. Early-moon - a pre-wedding holiday
22. Buddymoon - why not take your mates along?
23. Weddingmoon - a wedding and honeymoon wrapped into one
24. Spatisserie - a restaurant in a spa
25. Wellness - just an awful word
26. Intuitive medical - this will be replacing "wellness" soon, we're told
27. Spafari - safaris combined with "wellness"
28. Doga - yoga with Fido
29. Cinetourism - visiting a destination associated with a film. A slum tour of Mumbai, for example, or "Hobbiton", in New Zealand
30. Jetiquette - how to behave on a flight
31. Flightseeing - viewing an attraction, the Grand Canyon, for example, from an aircraft
32. Digital detox - a holiday without your mobile, tablet or laptop
33. Twixmas - a short break between Christmas and New Year
34. Brokepacking - backpacking on a budget (wasn't that the point of backpacking?)

If you know of other "bright new wordings" please feel free to write them in the comment.